A Dollar Short
by scullyseviltwin
Summary: He grabbed her hand in his and even as the tears coursed down her cheeks, he kissed her ring finger, where her engagement ring should have laid.


_**This is a response to a challenge given to me by Celestial Sara... I think she was looking for a bit more but I have two WIPs and just posted two smut fics over at geekfiction, so... oh, and Lauren says this will make you want to slit your wrists! ENJOY!**_

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**_James Barry had arrived in Las Vegas with the intention of finding a new job. What he found was an old love, brilliant and beautiful as ever, single. He would have had to been blind, deaf, and dumb not to ask her out. And when he did, he was elated that she said yes, even if she had sent a slight glance over her shoulder at the man standing behind her. 

He hadn't expected much, truly. He'd expected a few dinners, perhaps some cuddling, maybe a kiss. What he didn't expect was sex on his back stairs, so frenzied because she claimed she couldn't help herself. They'd kissed and kissed and kissed and he remembered just why he was in love with Sara Sidle.

There were so many, many reasons. She could fuck him senseless, she couldn't cook, she could outrun him, she was smarter than him and almost taller than him and the most selfless person that he had ever met. Yes, his heart still belonged to her even if he was reluctant to admit it.

And she, she realized that he looked at her like she was the only person on the planet. he told her shet was beautiful and wonderful and lovely and she felt that it was enough, at that point, to let him into her life.

Gil Grissom was no longer an object to pine after, just a sad man who longed and looked on as she looked at him. It wasn't enough. She realized it would never be enough and she'd never truly have him and gave into the deluge that was James and let him love her in the only way he knew how: unconditionally. She never told him of her childhood or of her parents or of her past, not like she had told Grissom and she didn't care to tell Jim. It wasn't important.

He loved her, that was enough.

Grissom would watch her as she left the lab to get into the car with Jim and he'd ponder why he couldn't give his heart to the only woman he had ever really loved. He'd never come to a conclusion and so he let her go, watching on, watching her be happy and healthy and well loved, as he'd longed to make her seem.

When Sara walked into the lab with a ring on her finger he'd looked away, pretended not to care as Catherine gawked at the karat size, the intricate design. He hadn't congratulated her or wished her well, not that she had expected him to in the first place. It was a gorgeous ring, much more expensive than the one he'd pondered over, the one he'd wished to put on her finge knowing it would look perfect on her.

He watched her as the weeks went on. He noticed when she called out of work to go to dress fittings, he overheard her talk with Catherine about the shower. He listened as she and Nick discussed children and all the while he managed to seem uninterested.

The most important tidbit he gathered was when he was passing through the breakroom one night. Sara had mentioned that 'Jim' was out of town on business and Catherine had joked that she must 'miss him so'.

That evening, Grissom had shown up on her doorstep, lost and ragged, searching for words. Sara had clung to the door, eyes worried and didn't stop him when he moved forward to kiss her. It was slow and soft and he no longer felt pain when he touched her.

His words were ragged when he muttered how much he loved her and pulled the clothing from her body and kissed her skin. He was loving her with his body just as he had done with his eyes for so many years. Yards and acres of skin spread as a banquet before him, and he kissed it all before he kissed her lips again.

He made love to her then, moving within her, stirring up the lust and the love that she'd been attempting to suppress for the one man that she could not have.

When he came in her, unabashed, unbridled, she almost hoped that he'd stay within her and that she could call him in a few weeks, let him know that she was having his child to a man she didn't love. She knew that it would never happen and she knew that he would never stay with her but she had to try. She had to try because she loved him so, so very much.

They laid there, spent and sweaty, wondering why the ring on the nightstand had been placed there at all. He wondered what his ring would look like on her finger. It didn't matter, he couldn't do it.

He grabbed her hand in his and even as the tears coursed down her cheeks, he kissed her ring finger, where her engagement ring should have laid. Sara gripped his neck and kissed him hard, and tears fell on his cheeks as he kissed her back. "I love you, so, so much..." Grissom murmured it into her hair as he gripped her hard, hugging the air out of her lungs.

"Please, please Grissom I don't want-"

Grissom smoothed his hand over her face and kissed her softly, cutting off her words. "You have to. He can give you what you need Sara, I can't."

"You can, you already have, please Grissom, please, I-" But he kissed her again and pressed her back into the mattress and slipped inside of her, stilling the words.

"I can't give that to you," he spoke low and soft and moved within her even as she cried and told him that she loved him. He spoke the same words back to her but still, still would not be with her. Couldn't.

"Grissom, please, please, I love you, you, you!" And she came and he did too, and she cried in his arms until she fell asleep. And then he cried, because he wouldn't allow her to stay with him. An impossibility.

He left in the morning, regarding her ring on the bedside table as the phone rang and Jim's voice filled the apartment, asking where she was and... telling her how much he loved her.


End file.
